Sep 15, 2017

Pandora box

Under trouble I put a lid on my clear sight,
You opened a Pandora box, and I'm still exploring.

I used to envy that friend who recalled developing several level of thinking at once, and wished I was smarter. I was hoping it would bring me some higher power or let me know some mysteries that would lead me to better life and happiness.
However now that I'm there contemplating various level of consciousness at the same time, it spoils some moments because I catch my mind guessing what's next before it happens, my mind rushes into the future before my heart can handle the feelings and all I can do is sit and watch internally all my thoughts, the thoughts about my thoughts and feelings about primary and secondary thoughts unfold.
I read people's mind within 10 seconds of catching their sight, I guess their words before they open their mouths, even online I guess peoples mood and see into their issues before they open up about it, I have already thought the solution before I get the question, it's all going too fast, too soon.
It's like I'm high, and so I align with artists who have smoked weed just by listening to their music, and slow the flow of my mind narrative to get opportunity to catch my thoughts before they vanish under a pile of newer thoughts, and I write, to remember, recombine and relieve.

And I dance, I sing and I run to ground myself in the orgasms I get from my muscles, and the weird pain which I enjoy in these tiny fractures when I push myself to get stronger and more flexible, ever again.
As well as my mind rushes fast forward, so are my legs and fingers faster, and my senses sharper, sweets get too sweet, foul smells stink harder, everyday beauties shine brighter. And my love grows stronger.

Sep 11, 2017

The swamp


I can't see the end of my running path
Lost in the trees
I can't hear the trouble from the city
Lost in the wind
I cant feel the pain of aches
Lost in perseverance
I wanna hear your whispers
I wanna see your prayers
I feel like a doll in your arms
My sweet darlings, green smartest aliens
You are using us, ever done, ever will
And when we're over the burning task
You'll grow your roots over us and feed
I can wait your answer over a lifetime
but
I can't see the end of my running path
Lost in the swamp

Sep 8, 2017

Crystal cries

What's in your crystal eyes?
Are these my future cries?
You look like a former demon
Replaying my nightmares in 3D
He faked your style and no smile
I can't hold on to your poker face
I'm hooked on your blue neck veins
I know the meaning and I'm staying
Just one last time, I promise I won't dine
I'm placing the puzzle and you squared
I see those possibles and I'm scared

What's in your crystal eyes?
Are these my future cries?
You walk like a fragile alien
Remastering my old dreams in colors
He played your talent and easy charms
I can not want you near you are too dear
I'm hooked on your blue arm veins
I know the feeling and I'm longing
Just one more time, you say you won't shine
I'm facing the hurdle and you removed
I see the time forecast and I'm moved



Sep 5, 2017

Ink

Sea was ink black, warmer than the air
Warping my thoughts in cosiness
Just as hundred clouds painting
Fifty shades of gray in the sky
Both mirrors and touches, a pair
Fused body and soul in stillness
Sensual dance towards you aiming

Aug 30, 2017

Cycles


And roll the sea, melons and all feelings
They're vanishing with shoring waves
Immaterial flow of hopes and distrust
Only in the darkest nights can we see stars
Only in the sadest times can we feel paths


And stroll the forest, pines and all dreamings
They're cascading with various heights
Illusory copies of greatness and pride
Only in the clearest sky can we guess milky way
Only in the slowest pace can we find ourselves

xx

Aug 29, 2017

Hurt

I'm magnetized by your stare
Neither younger nor richer me could snare
Yet your neck hypnotizes my eyes
I'm liquefied by your smiles

What makes me stronger is my dope
Your blunt and hurt I know I can cope
I seek the higher, hardest goal
I feel you can throw me to that bowl

Infinitely dark eyes like open sea
Sweetly haunting my sleepless nights
The flower tint of your cheeks
Flawlessly echoing the blush from your sights

xx

Vague


Tout ce que je ressens 
Vers le haut me descend
J'ignore ce que je pressens
La vérité éclate douce amère
Comme les tomates de mer
qu'on déguste en fiers
La douceur de moi m'éloigne
Alors que la dureté me soigne
Ni la boue ni les ronces n'empoignent
On vogue vers l'inconnue connexion
Surpuissance et prémonition des émotions
Débranche la matrice, déconexion
Faire comme les autres ou attendre
Continuer le strip tease et apprendre
Danser vers l'équilibre et suprendre

xx

Aug 17, 2017

Tsunami

If my dream is your eyes
My nightmare is your silence
Your words released an emotional tsunami
I shivered and all fluids left me emptied
Ready for a mind shift and blown away heart
Learning from the mirror you hold to my face
You walk the right path so I try and run behind
Sometimes I stumble and lose sight
It leaves a sidereal void between my life sparks
yet I keep fighting to better myself
I love you so deeply but joyfully
Your face is an open book, a shy smile
I just look up at the stars and you stand still

Aug 3, 2017

Storm


This guitar is a vessel that makes me
Sail the seas of my dreams wide awake
You turned my world to a monsoon storm
Ravishing my heart for a higher purpose
You call me home and I turn a deaf ear
I wanna curl here and far, hide and seek
You make me sick to my stomach
I ache and shiver but tears don't fall
As I strive to unfurl the mysteries at play
I feel like running away in the moist woods
And softly lay looking at the moon and stars

xx

Jul 30, 2017

Belated Babe


My gut feels as if you're butterfly
I know you are fleeting splendor
And to my heart you're bull's eye
I can see your pain and your anger
As if your wrinkles erased your smile
No one has to endure alone ever
Hug and fight wiser than a juvenile
If my highs went faster I'll get closer
Not until I can hold your stares with glee
If your thighs got tighter, we'll swear stronger
Til next summer buzz cute and work like a bee


xx

Jul 13, 2017

Sorrow's exile

Your eyes are my ice bucket challenge
Am I allowed to drown in for a change?
Effortlessly you stretched your hand
Promised me your dreams with a smile
Radiated wise energy, sorrow's exile
From tonight on shines a mystic wand
Where do we meet? a constellation
Bringing consciousness where lazy minds sleep
Pouring kindness on sore hearts that weep
Tirelessly lighting the fire is your mission


xx

Jul 10, 2017

Old master


There's something broken in you
I can feel it on your uneven face
There's something broken in you
That sorrow I want to embrace
I'd like to know why and heal
I won't rip off your mask yet
Let it slide at my feet, unreal
There's something broken in you
You can not lie to me, reveal

xx


Searching for peace on a piano touch, and sliding into introspective mood under the full moon.
Life is both awesome and troublesome.

I crave people who know what they do and do what they know. Knowledge is an antidote to conditioning. It may mean a full stop to dreams until we recreate them around the last dead end.


Jan 31, 2017

Subliminal

Can you feel both side of your brain at the same time?
Consciously focusing on abstract wording on one hand
And innerly visualizing colorful emotions on another
Subliminal consciousness for your abstraction crave

The exhilaration of traveling was turned into mourning
It is a mix of pain and sadness at seeing land dying
And peaceful satisfaction of knowing true as always
It lingers too long on the soul that quiet crying
Speaking like millennial trees I learned the old ways



Trust no one but your gut if you forget then smell
Like the cat who doesn't know Coriolis and gravity
Like a chameleon who doesn't know lights spectrum 
We don't need fools nor gurus to feed and heal

Oct 1, 2016

Flow


We appear close when we touch, yet we are a few million years apart.

Your tunes keep me awake until I finally can tell these visions of awe. The deepest I bury my dreams, the most violently they explode back into my veins.
I am still hanging in that tree, looking at the branches and memorizing all the leaves. Woods are not a cathedral they stand tall whatever the sismic activity, and no one needs to believe, a forest grows effortless, for free.
I know what comes first and what comes next. I have seen all those places and I remember them. I do not need a picture because it is forever in my head. I put my ass on the ground and stuck my fingers in the dirt, I saw the stars and felt the wind, it will clean the air tonight. I laid still staring at a tarantula, hoping I could freeze my blood, but she went. Like my friends, gone with the night. Up is my disco night, flashing billion years of matter birth.

Do you feel the flow? your blood rush, your breath, the wind swirl, the waves break, bird fly, mosquito dance, so much flow, just let go. The most intimate spasms shake slower than my running thoughts. You woke my words and I have begun to feel human for a few hours. If I could hear pictures and feel colorful emotions I would keep quiet, as usual. But you are nothing but usual, rare like gold.
Some drink, pill or smoke their mood to deadly stillness, I live the passionate highs that kiss me inside out, and acid torments that blaze my illusions like an arctic storm. Why buy what's already inside me?

I wish I could still cry, now I am too empty, there is no more baggage to unload. I don't want anything anymore, no wealth, no fame, not even you. Since I close my eyes with burning veins, I stopped caring. twinkling moons and soothing plants are my home, my safe, my care. All I can is dance and sing, and swim. I belong to the eldest beings, and I feel them like nothing else. I am a few million years apart, good night, sleep tight.



xxx

Nov 14, 2014

O boy!

When you pushed that door opened, my heart skipped a beat
You waved at me while I had already rushed my glaze down
O boy do I know you? the cutest fashionable guy in town
I can't stand your stares, you're so naively hot, I try to stay away
But you take a step toward anytime I move back, I feel so shy
You sit so close I could feel you breath, I want to hide
You try hard to read into my stares, but I'm closed in, awkward
So you  hum and ham: is this just my friend? or boyfriend?
O boy, I wish you were, but I'm not so free, anyway happy
Say my name again and promise we'll meet again, so warm
You wrapped my heart and stole a last stare, see you boy

xx

Sep 7, 2014

Full moon creativity


Bright full moon gifts night owls like me:
Moonlit woods whispered verses to me.
My eyes ceaselessly glued to the firmament,
Anchoring my reality in the present moment.

Seasonal melody







Summer is blue
Cerulean midnight
Azure noon vault
Aquamarine flow
These hues echo
Trance and techno

Winter is dark
Charcoal shadows
Crystal footprints
Inky welkin
Black euphony
Rocks metal tune

xx

Aug 29, 2014

I miss myself



I am a refugee. I want to go home but it does not exist anymore. I miss it so dearly, I can not rest, my eyes are dried from so any tears I cried.
I am both a broken soul and a stranded stranger so we should not expect kindness and understanding from each other. No matter how kind it was to welcome me, it can not compare to the coziest loveliest home I had ever had. It is a rough time in a new world, a world I neither chose nor want.
I had to leave not only dreams, but friends and habits. Anything that anchored me to reality has been wiped out. Do not ask for so many smiles, or you will get anger at your lack of compassion.
I have taken on so many foreign clothes and forgotten so many of my ways that I can not recognize myself any more. I have become my blurred and shapeless shadow on a windy day.

xx

May 2, 2014

smartphones and glassboxes


https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151935081591116&set=a.375924531115.161919.7629206115&type=1&theater

 I really like how these 2 people are in a tiny glass box. Instead of focusing on the smartphone, let's think deeper into the roots of WHY people need smartphone to 'feel' busy, rather than bored, or connected rather than disconnected.
1. Obviously as more and more people live in big cities rather than small communities in the countryside, they end up living in tiny boxes, called "flats/apartment/student room", they also have to put up with working in tiny boxes: cubicles, little desk in high glass boxes (skyscrapers?), they commute from their home box to their job box, in little boxes named cars, or metro/bus. Even babies are put in boxes: strollers
What can people DO in tiny boxes? they can neither walk, nor run, nor dance, maybe they can go the the big box (mall) and shop. Some people go to an exercise box (the gym) but most people find it too dull, and get bored. Boredom is sourced in the LACK of sensual stimulation of our dull box environment. And to reclaim sensual stimulation, movies, pictures and music is available 24/7 on our smartphones.
2. Freedom, Most fun exercise takes space: football/rugby, swimming, tennis, biking, golfing, etc can neither be done in tiny boxes, nor in big overcrowded ones. People need some space to move, unrestrained, for the same reason a free range chicken is superior to a caged one, people who roam free tend to feel better than boxed ones.
So people feel overcrowded, at least subconsciously, and to regain their personal freedom space, they turn to Internet, social networks, a virtually infinite place where they have all room to be themselves, rather than a number in a box.
3. Even though people may share big overcrowded space like a train wagon at rush hour, there is no feeling of personal relationship because these are fleeting moments and no one can see exactly the same people everyday in one's wagon, bar exceptions (but notice how we tend to get to know each other in this case)
Or those big places, like an open office are an apartment building are divided in small boxes (cubicle, flats), so that people don't interact and don't have to be social, or are discouraged to socialize (for productivity sake). Then again Internet and 'social' networks provide the solution by reconnecting disconnected urban dwellers with each other. It is also interesting to see more and more former city dwellers (like me), who keep connection to urban life (intellectuals, arts, people) through Internet, while moving to the countryside which is geographically disconnected from universities, governments and museums.